08 Jan

Ready Aim Fire

Prometheus, the latest film by Riddley Scott just released on disc, is possibly the fucking* stupidest  film too many people have seen and, because of the director, given too much time to discussing.  Characters include:

  • A crew of scientists who are greedy, self serving, impetuous twits. (Perhaps the screenwriter thought that venal, immature scientists were the only people who could be manipulated into making the trip–regardless, that pushed my first button.)
  • A ship’s crew who blithely sacrifice themselves to save mankind like they’ve just bought an e-ticket (that’s ride, not extinction), wiggling their hands in the air just before impact.
  • A mission commander/corporate exec who spends much of her time looking like death can’t arrive soon enough (and when it does…oops).
  • A race of Promethians who took one long look at us and said, we need to start over (and who, based on what we see of their creations, might not be very good at their job of seeding the universe in spite of their physical beauty and advanced science). Similar, perhaps, to the goals of the corporation exemplified by the android–who is by far the most interesting and, in a sociopathic way, human character. Riddley Scott’s best characters have always been androids.

Too much has been made of the self-surgery scene with the main character followed by her vigorous physical actions–it went too far but can be explained away with shock, drugs, etc–and she does suffer from it later. That may be low hanging fruit to some, but they’re missing all the fruit rotting on the ground.

If you took only the reset attempt by the Promethians as the plot, inserted mature characters into lead roles and left out the forced connection to Alien (a great thriller milked far too long past the first two films), it could have been an SF masterpiece. You’d also need a different director, one who continued to grow intellectually as he aged.

We do learn what would happen if HR Giger and Ed Wood had a baby. Hint: Riddley Scott, who should have erupted from the screen at the end of the film and waggled his finger at the viewer.

The film has one redeeming quality. Gosh is it pretty. Except when it’s cheap and gross. Kind of like the Promethians.

Note: I’m sick today, which has made me grumpy enough to summarize what I’ve been thinking since I watched this film a week ago. It’s an anti-science film at a time we can’t afford it as a culture and a species, masked as out-of-the-box thinking that was a rehash of pseudo-scientific ancient astronaut “theory,” masked as entertainment.

* I promised a few entries ago to rely less on f-barks. But I can still use them sotto voce.

Followup: Gods help me, I never thought I’d link to Forbes anything,¬† but their movie reviewer nailed it (for me), sans dyspectic vitriol.

24 Oct

Dumas Gets His Eye Shot Out

All for one, one for all. It's like math, you know.

All for one, one for all. It's like math, you know.I took Noah to see the new Three Musketeers movie today. If I’d wanted technical analysis of the swordsmanship or acting, I would have taken Travis (who knows something about each). If I’d wanted the “Oh Jesus, Come On!” reaction, I would have taken Jordan. But I wanted to see the Universe in Action via the pleasure of a 12 year old boy. Nothing like your kid leaning on your shoulder one second and then popping up with a “Did you say that! Hilarious! Those cannonballs bounced! Wouldn’t the airship explode if they shot flame at it? Oh who cares!” (To be fair, 23 yo Adam would have done the same, but without leaning on my shoulder.)

Yes, Three Musketeers with airships, bad dialog, mustache twirling, bosom heaving, and some nifty swordplay layered with slomo violent but bloodless ballets all in a wrapper we couldn’t take our eyes off. Dumas as live action anime. A terrible movie. We had a great time.