08 Mar

Except for the daffodils

I haven’t written for a week till now. Nothing came to mind worth writing: no story to tell or coerce. I spent two days hiding out in a borrowed copy of the computer game, Dragon Age (not an entirely terrible place to hide). I mowed the lawn (usually, a satisfying task–we have terrain and, in the spring, daffodils that I carefully cut round but not down). At work I wrote confusing e-mail and gave directions I’d rather forget. I scowled–I have a magnificent scowl–if scowls were charming, my scowl would be Cary Grant or William Powell. It was a depressing week–except for the daffodils (and perhaps the animated slaying). I was edgy, hard on people, chalking it up to allergies and minor intestinal crud.

I woke around 4 this morning and thought, that’s it, I’m done before I’ve done it. Might as well die right now, posterity’s already putting double quotes around, “He mowed a nice lawn.” I don’t pray, but in my head I started reaching out for advice. And in the unreal clarity of pre-dawn, a pragmatic voice answered right back: You can write. It didn’t shrug and it didn’t rub my nose in anything. It just said, between the lines, You couldn’t for a bit, and now you can. Don’t ask. Don’t tell. Just write. You want permission, call it permission. Just don’t call it late for dinner.

This isn’t about mojo* (which is more of a filterless cigarette or a chic manly body spray than a creative groove). It’s simpler, more like a light switch flicking on. Or a circuit breaker reset. Or a great ZOT! followed by bell chimes. Or a simple gift I’ll finish unwrapping later tonight.

* Also the simian nemesis of Bubbles, Blossom, and Buttercup, the Powerpuff Girls

4 thoughts on “Except for the daffodils

  1. Well, phhtt, of course you can. And better than most. I still have problems witht hat subjectobjectverb thing, and with getting the spaces placed correctly. And if things get sticky now and then, well, as Tony once said, ‘you can coerce the muse’.

    I just got “Sky Crawlers” for the Wii. It’s a flight simulator. Air to air battles over Europe in high tech prop fighters. Think of a cross between an O-2 and an F-105. Based on the anime, which was gorgeous, but seriously creepy. It’s been soaking up the time I should be spending writing, or…well…grading papers, but hey, that’s what random number generators are for!

    In fact, I think I’ll give up on this comment stuff and go see if I can crack Mission 6 – it’s set in the “Beruka Mountains”, or, as it says on the briefing map, Switzerland, and you lose if anybody in your flight gets shot down. Kindof like being in industry. kthxbai

  2. I think we’re going to spring for a Wii out of our tax return–most of it is going into savings, but we have to support the economy somehow. Sky Crawlers….hmmm–I like me those flying (and racing) games.

  3. Hey, Kurt,

    Just write, will you?

    And write your blog too. I enjoy reading it and you don’t post often enough (she says sternly). I’m a fine one to talk.

    Write. And, in case you missed the point, write, write and write again.

    V

  4. Honestly, I’ve been too busy to blog and have jealously spent free writing time on nontombloggery efforts. We just recovered from a bout of flu-ishness at home that hasn’t left me much energy to write anything for a couple of weeks–reenergized now and back on a roll. A nice crusty warm dinner roll. Don’t scoff, they feel really good against one’s tailbone.

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