12 Oct

Not Mine, Not Our’s, but Your’s

Next time someone asks you, “Where do you get YOUR ideas,” pretend they meant YOUR generically* and launch into a monologue about how the brain stores millions of pieces of sensory input and makes associations behind your back, a whole gang of them laying in wait for you to wander down the alley for a good old fashioned mugging. Now, if you don’t want to get mugged, you should stay out of alleys and away from subway entrances at night. But then you’ll never get mugged. Or experience the frightening pleasure of whipping out an invisible lasso, rounding them up and hauling them, not to the hoosegow, but back to your place where you’ll chain ’em to a desk, throw a pile of notebooks at them, and put them to work. Where they’ll try to turn out nothing but a trainwreck of runaway metaphors or paper bag of greasy cliches, till you come to some agreement. Maybe feed ’em a casserole of fresh eggs and a pot of coffee and dangle some wine as a re-ward–lots of it, and conversation. Whatever it takes.

So, where do you get YOUR ideas? Well, it all starts with a good mugging.

*As in, “When baking YOUR casserole be sure to add a dozen eggs.”